I have an undeniable, yearning passion to know God. Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting older. Maybe it's that fact that I'm learning life can no longer be taken for granted. I'm not sure what it is exactly, all I know is that it's a fire I can't put out with Sunday morning hymns.
It's taken me nearly 18 years to figure out my calling. I mean, I guess in the long run, that isn't long. But, I have no doubt in my mind that helping those who can't help themselves is what I'm meant to do. Every day of my life, my God is clearing out the GARBAGE that has been cluttering my life and putting more and more love in my heart for the sex slaves, Africa, and the homeless right here in my city. My heart is on fire for them. I didn't do that myself, y'all. I couldn't do this myself. This passion, this desire, isn't even earthly. It's the most spiritual thing I've ever felt. It's all Him. Every bit of it.
I know I have to sacrifice what I wanted. I might not be able to get the picket fenced house I dreamt of, but if it means my mansion in heaven, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. If it means the lack of diamonds, at least my treasure in chest in heaven will be overflowing. Every day I wake up and challenge myself not to be a christian, but to be a young woman after God's own heart!
.....And, y'all, that is literally the hardest thing ever. People watch you. People think you watch them, when in reality, you just want a Starbucks white chocolate cappuccino and you happen to be jammin' Gunger while you do it. And by you, I mean me. Cause that's all I want, every day. People want you to mess up, strange as it seems. All I know is that by the grace of God, I'm not hated. Yet. I think. But I'm still young. Maybe I'll be hated someday. A girl can only dream.
Back to the point. I'm at a point in my life where I'm willing to risk it all, all of it, to do what God has called me to do. At the beginning, when I realized this is what He was hinting at, He gave me SUCH small tasks. I felt this was Him telling me that I'm meant to accomplish many small things, nothing spectacular. Boy, was I wrong as fudge. Here I am, spiritually prepping myself for the trip of my life to AFRICA, while I'm selling bracelets to RESCUE 1 woman from sex trafficking, while interning at the greatest (a little biased) non-profit homeless organization in the state, possibly the galaxy. He was getting my heart ready for the big things He had for me. You see, He saw the big picture. I only saw a TINY part of what He wanted for me. If it's taught me anything, I've learned to let go of every thing you thought your life would be. Not because you're giving up on what you wanted, but because the plans the Lord have for you are SO much greater than anything you could ever fathom. Pretend I'm not 17 and saying that. Pretend, for a fraction of a second, that I'm someone who knows that they're talking about. Because, for once, I really do know this is true.
God has great plans for you. For me. For us. Let go. Let God.
Have a good weekend.
Oh and ask me how you can Rescue 1 woman chained to sex slavery by buying one of these fancy bracelets for $5.
Love, Jess
